Raising Christian Kids in Public Schools

The great thing about school is kids get a fresh start each fall. Last night as I was packing backpacks with fresh new school supplies (new crayons have one of the greatest smells ever, and don't get me started talking about how much I love Ticonderoga pencils- they are one of the few things in life that are worth overpaying) I was praying for my kids fresh start to the year. There are so many things to pray for that sometimes I can get overwhelmed with where to even start. So today, on the first day I decided to pray for the most important thing, that this year my kids and I would bring glory to God with our interactions at their school. Here is what I'm praying today:

Dear Lord,
Today, and each day this year, let your love shine through my kids in school.

Please help my daughter bring glory to You with her words. Help her stand up to the social difficulties that girls her age go through. Help her resist the natural tendency to gossip and be unkind that I know begins at this age. Help her bring glory to You by showing love and kindness to all of the children she encounters regardless of their social abilities. Please bless her with the confidence to know that her self-worth comes from being Your child, not from involvement, or lack there of, in a particular social circle.

Help my son bring you Glory through his ability to get along with most anyone. Help him glorify You by having self-control, something that can be a struggle for him! Give him the boldness to talk about church and you God. At his young age he doesn't yet worry much what other people think, so this is such a good time for him begin the habit of proclaiming his belief and love for You.

Guide my interactions with others at my kids school. Please help me radiate your love to my kids teachers, their classmates, and other parents. Give me divine appointments with others and the courage to glorify You by actually having the boldness to use those appointments to proclaim my desire to live my life to glorify You.

Thank you God that you have drawn our family to You Lord and help us reflect your Glory so when others look at our kids and family they see You. Amen.


1 Corinthians 10:31
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do (like going/sending your kids to public school) , do it all for the glory of God. (yes- I added the italics- that is not in the original text- in the interest of full disclosure :) )

We are all anxious to connect with our child's classroom and teacher right away in the year. Here is an idea of a way you can be helpful and get involved from the very beginning, and it is something you can do that will only take a few minutes, but will be beneficial for the whole year!

We have all been irritated by glue bottles that are clogged. Before you ever use a new bottle of glue pull the orange lid off the top, use a q-tip to wipe Vaseline around the inside of the lid, then just put the lid back on. Even if the lid is never closed the bottle won't clog with dried glue. It works like magic and ends a source of frustration! You could offer to come in sometime the first week and "fix" all the kids glue bottles before they are used. This would be a great way to be helpful in the very beginning of the school year that wouldn't take much time and all you would need is one 1-tip and a couple of tablespoons of Vaseline to do a whole classroom.

Randy Alcorn posts a thought provoking quote almost every day on his facebook page. Today's quote was really thought provoking. The quote was from A.W. Tozer- here it is:

A.W. Tozer: "God is more concerned with the state of people's hearts than with the state of their feelings. Undoubtedly the will of God brings final happiness to those who obey, but the most important matter is not how happy we are but how holy." It sometimes hurts in the short run, but holiness will always bring us happiness. Jesus promised it would: "Happy are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." (Matt. 5:8)

Two of my three kids are very in touch with their feelings. This leads to kids being overly emotional, and as a parent if I don't watch it I can become manipulated into poor parenting because I try and fix things for them so they are happy. Not every parent would fall into this trap so easily like I do, but I am a people pleaser. (But I'm learning.) A very wise friend gave me great words to use with my kids regarding their feelings and emotions. She told me to say to them, "we have to hold our emotions up to the light of truth." This has been so helpful for us to talk about that what you feel is not always true.

This is not the message our kids get from the culture around them, which for them is often at school. Our society values how people feel over almost everything else. This does nothing but lead to narcissistic children who are pleasure seeking at all cost. I realize that Tozer's quote is not specifically about children or emotions, but the implication for parenting our kids, particularly children in public school, about not being concerned with happiness but rather with holiness is so important.

We take the opportunity to talk to our kids when they are not in an emotional "bad place" about how we can't always trust our emotions. I am going to add to this talk about how being happy is not our ultimate goal, being holy is.

Look- I'm back! Summer is over half way over, as is my pregnancy #4, and my husband is well on his way to recovered from back problems that resulted in surgery. So although I had all sorts of plans for this blog... I had to focus on other things (like survival) for the last few months.

School starts late in the year for us this year (September 8th!) so while it still feels like a long way off, the stores don't think so. You have already seen all of the ads saying "BACK TO SCHOOL SALE!" Of course their plan is to lure you into their store with 25 cent crayons so you will then turn around and buy your 5-year-old a $35 backpack with wheels (by the way-teachers and schools HATE backpacks with wheels- along with the big "trapper-keepers.") So besides avoiding the wheeled backpacks (which I'm sure chiropractors and my husbands back-surgeon would say are a great idea) I have another idea for you as you are out and about in back-to-school sales.

Your probably thinking that I'm going to say buy school supplies and donate them to kids who don't have new supplies. Of course that is a great idea. And if you can do it with supplies that you get on sale all the better. But I have another thing for you to consider.
Have you ever seen the state of a classrooms crayons, markers, or glue sticks come, say, February or March? It doesn't matter if your child's classroom does "community" supplies, or the kids all have their own, they tend to get pretty worn out as the year goes on.

So when you see notebooks for 5 cents, or a pack of crayons for a quarter, why not pick up a class set to store away for a few months. Then sometime after Valentine's day send the bag in to your child's teacher with a note just saying that you purchased these before school started and perhaps they would be a nice replacement for worn out ones if the class needs them. It will be a great encouragement to the teacher and a wonderful way to support the classroom. (and it will cost you very little if you do it now)

A couple of other things to think about with school supplies:

• A word of warning- glue sticks are one of the fastest things to run out in a classroom, so they would be great to buy- but don't take them out of the packaging or they will dry out.
• Does your family/church do Operation Christmas Child? If so, pick up some of the sale supplies now to fill your box this Christmas- you will save yourself money for other things to purchase or you will be able to do more boxes.
• The class sizes in our district/state are definitely up this year. So my "class set" will need to be 35 to make sure I have enough. I think many times we think of a class as being around 25- so this is just a word of warning- get enough!
  

I'm off to Wal Mart today to pick up a class set of notebooks (15 cents each) and crayons (25 cents). What about you?

I just heard about a new book out called Free Range Kids. After hearing about it I spent some time reading the authors blog and it is interesting. She advocates the position that as a society we are way over protecting our kids and handicapping them because we are not giving them the freedom they need to develop.

She makes the case that the world our kids are growing up in has far less crime than when we were kids. Because of the 24/7 media it really doesn't seem that way does it? In one of her posts she lists reasons that crime is in fact much lower today than it was in the 70's and 80's. Check out her blog if your interested.

You have seen the "how did we make it through" email with the list of things like bike helmets, seat belts, and all the other ways our kids are protected and we wern't. Part of me thinks that we do over protect, but then the mother bear in me comes out and wants to bubble wrap my kids Just last night I was at Bible study and one of my friends was saying that Hepatitis B can live on a surface for up to 3 weeks. Our conversation was about immunizations (what else do mothers talk about right?) and she was saying that her husband, who is a police officer, was stuck with a discarded needle once. This happened while on patrol in a park, which immediately led me to decide my children would only be playing in our private neighborhood park from now on. Obviously an overreaction on my part, so it was good for me to look at this blog today.

Here is a quote off of her blog that addresses "free-range kids:"

But really, the reason I believe in raising kids Free-Range is this: They only get one childhood, and childhood’s magic words are these: “I did it myself.”

As in, “I rode without the training wheels!” Not, “I rode with mommy holding onto the back of my bike in case I fell!”

Equally exhilarating: I made dinner! I found this cool rock on my way to school! I bought a Father’s Day present with the money I got from babysitting!

Take away all those opportunities, and kids are deprived. Not deprived of the things we can buy them — lessons and toys and the trophies they get for showing up for soccer. Deprived of adventures and self-confidence and responsibility, the Wonder Bread of childhood — the stuff they grow up on. (Imagine it as whole wheat Wonder Bread if that helps.)

Free-Range parents also get something out of the deal: A life not slavishly devoted to doing things 24/7 for their kids. Not that Free Rangers are slackers (well, maybe a little bit…). But is it necessary to drive our kids to the bus stop every morning? No. Not for safety’s sake. (Our crime rate is back to what it was in 1970.) Not because this new generation melts in the rain. And not because bus stops have somehow crept further from home. So why spend every morning there, silently teaching our kids that they couldn’t possibly do this simple thing on their own? Free-Range parents know that not everything in childhood is so dangerous or difficult that it requires constant parental presence.

How does this relate to public schools? I do know that by putting my kids in public school is definitely letting go of them in a way that I wouldn't be doing if I home schooled. I do walk to the bus stop every day, although I'm sure my kids would be just fine without me being there. I have joked many times that I have a hard time finding the line between opressively overprotective and neglect in parenting. I have a tendency to freak out over little tiny medical issues that end up being nothing, and then other times totally missing something important.

The text that our sermon was about last Sunday is one of my favorite verses for when I start freaking out about my kids. If the free-range kids lady was a Christian (maybe she is- but it is not apparent the parts of her site I read) she could have this verse as her subtitle. The verse is Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, whith thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Perhaps instead of spending that 10 minutes at the bus stop every morning just in case some random person drives by and tries to take my kid my time would be better spent home in prayer and petition?

The month of April escaped without a single post on this blog. Rather than posting, I was dealing with the sickness that has come with carrying a new little future public school pupil. If all goes well in November our family will welcome our fourth little one that five years later will be welcomed into our public schools. Two things have come up in the last two days that have made me motivated enough to forgo a nap or earlier bedtime to write.

The first is the school funding issue that our state (and probably most others) are facing. My friend Jenne called me to encourage me to write about it after a couple of conversations she has had. She is probably going to post about this as well, so go over to her blog and read what she has to say about it as well.

I have two basic thoughts on the funding cuts. They do stink, and they are an opportunity.

On the stinking side, it is really sad to see the people losing their jobs. The principal at our elementary school, who we love, is losing his job. Not being moved to another school- no job at all for next year. The music teacher, PE teacher, librarian, and school counselor are being moved or losing their jobs as well. My husband calls home almost every day from school with reports of the newest employee at his school that has been RIF'd (Reduction In Force) the school term for laid off. Some schools in our league are starting to cut different sports, close the pools, and cut activities. That is obviously on the way for us as well, lost opportunities for our kids. My kids will be in classes that have in excess of 30 kids.

So first I go to being upset, for crying out loud, if we bailed out a bunch of wall street bankers to the tune of zillions of dollars- why is this happening to my local school? Then I jump out of my pity party and rejoice that unlike the federal government, our state government has to have a balenced budget. I would much rather my kids have cuts now than let the state borrow money that my kids will just have to figure out how to pay later. They are going to be busy enough paying off the federal government's stimulus programs, for the next 100 years.

And lets get a little perspective, it is easy to make the case that our country over pays for the education our children receive, but our kids have the opportunity to take advantage of some of the best education opportunities that have ever been given to kids in all of human history. Our church is supporting the building of a school in Sudan in an area called Upper Boma. In April all the workers had to be evacuated because of fierce fighting between rival tribes. Praise the Lord that the fighting now has calmed down, and the little beginnings of a school house were not destroyed. But children all over the world don't have school buildings or teachers to go to. We can complain about the state of disrepair, safety, large class sizes, and lack of service our kids experience, but compared to much of the world and most of human history what our children experience is amazing.

So we have a choice. We can complain, worry, and consider taking our kids out of school to the "safety" of private school or homeschool. Or we can look at this as an opportunity. 32 kids in class? No librarian to shelve books? No music teacher for a program? No sports after school? How can you help to fill these holes for your kids and for others. I didn't get the opportunity to hear Dave Ramsey's Town Hall for Hope last week, but I did hear him later on the radio talking about one thing he said. He made the comment that if we (as citizens) had our own acts together we could give the government out of business. If we as Christian parents in public schools step up, we can do a better job of filling in the places that are being cut in our schools, and then we get the opportunity to show Christ's Love in the process. This is a huge opportunity. Hurry and take it before the governement figures out how to "solve it" for us. (Socialism here we come...but that is a whole other issue isn't it?)

And although I promised two things that were motivating me to post, I'm going to save the "flu" portion for a later post. With any luck it will be up sooner than a month from now...

It might seem like my point is politics, but keep reading. It's not.

Just as I was about to start this blog I had my public school plan shaken. I came the closest I ever have to deciding to home school, or at least think that public school might not be the best choice. It did almost make me decide I wasn't going to do this blog. If I was so shaken, then who was I to try and encourage others? Perhaps it was the enemy trying to stop me, or God's way of making me stronger. I don't know which, but here is what happened:

My daughter, who up until January 20th I felt was very strong at standing up for what she believed in, came home from school on the day of the presidential inauguration. She told me at school they had all gone out into the pod and watched the inauguration. I have to admit, even though I said this wasn't about politics, my first thought was that in all my years of teaching I never knew of anyone showing something like that to elementary kids and I was a bit annoyed. But I figured that this was a historic inauguration, so I should probably just relax.

My husband teaches Political Studies, so he talks about politics quite a bit. Consequently, our kids know more about politics than typical kids their age. Something we had to deal with this election season was helping our kids not think that the people we were not voting for were "bad." We really focused on (and still are) praying for our elected leaders. However, our daughter thought she was funny and sought attention by saying that she hated Obama and wanted to kick him. We talked extensively about how no matter who was elected we would pray for that person and that ultimately our focus should be on the Eternal Kingdom rather than the earthly country we live in.

My girl has always been bold, for example once she told another child that she should throw her backpack away because it was Bratz and Bratz did not respect girls bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit. If you had asked me what the problem would have been at school that day I would have told you that my little darling would have told other kids that they were wrong in being happy that Obama was elected. Apparently as she has gotten older, she is more concerned about doing what the other kids are doing, and that is what shook me to the core on January 20th.

That is why when she sheepishly came to me to tell me that after watching the inauguration they came back in their class to write a response in their journal and she wrote that she liked Obama I was so shocked. My initial reaction was to jump to explaining how it doesn't matter how appealing someone is, if they are going to try and make it even easier for people to kill babies before they were born we couldn't support that person. She immediately said that she knew that and that she didn't really like him, but everybody else was cheering for him and writing that so she did too.

It was that statement that had me ready to pull everyone out of school and start looking online for home school curriculum. Fortunately my husband didn't let me do that, and so instead I prayed about it. You might already know what I should have talked to my daughter about, but it took me 9 days of praying and thinking before I had another conversation with her on this topic that I felt better about.

I realized the heart of this matter was dealing with following everyone else, or going against the flow. We talked about how as she gets older, she is going to be tempted to deny things she believes in to go along with what other people do or say. I talked about how Peter denied Christ three times and we read about the despair Peter felt after that. It isn't fun to tell your child that they are going to face teasing and maybe even people not wanting to be their friends because of what and who they believe in. How much better for her to hear about it and think it through at this point with me before encountering it later on in life.

I am so happy that I had this opportunity to take one topic such as if you agree with the President or not to teach about standing up for what you believe in. Turns out I'm happy they spent that time watching the inauguration so I could get such a valuable teaching opportunity. You just never know what learning opportunity is going to present itself when your family does public school.